Monday, July 29, 2013

mastery of bird physics, level expert

A bird pooped on the front passenger seat of my car this week. You're probably thinking, "That sucks, but it's hardly remarkable."  And it wouldn't be...except that my windows were rolled up.

Not all the way, mind you. They were cracked about an inch--certainly not enough for a bird to get inside my car, unless it was a contortionist or had some sort of mutant teleporting capability. *Bampf* and it's in, like Nightcrawler.

So, barring those unlikely attributes, this bird logically must have unloaded mid-flight with just the right trajectory to get through that inch opening and nowhere else on my car. Note diagram below:





Now, it could be that this was all just an amazing coincidence. However, if this bird willfully targeted me, he had not only a Stephen Hawking-level understanding of physics, but a kung-fu mastery over his own bowels, and we should be recruiting him for NASA immediately.