Wednesday, June 28, 2017

XO White Mexican

I've been trying to find creative uses for Patrón XO (which is a coffee-flavored tequila, and which is also awesome, by the way, and I recommend it). I've poured it over vanilla ice cream (FTW) and also combined it with milk to make what I think may be a new cocktail.

I was inspired to add milk by the classic mixed drink, the White Russian, which you probably already know is vodka, Kahlua, and cream. There's actually an existing variant called the White Mexican that substitutes tequila for vodka, so no credit for discovering that, unfortunately. Patrón XO combines the tequila and the coffee liqueur into one potent potable, and I think that's just different enough to qualify as a different drink. Try it. Or not. It's a free country.

Have you ever tried a Grasshopper? I've only ever been to one cocktail bar that has it on the menu: The Wellesbourne on Pico in West LA. It's good, but it's more of a dessert cocktail, and they look at you funny if you actually order one. I was there on a date once and ordered it and I didn't get a second date and I wonder if that had anything to do with it. But I HAD to order it because it gave me an excuse to tell one of my favorite jokes. Which goes as such:

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, you know we have a drink named after you." And the grasshopper replies, "Really? You have a drink named Steve?"

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

FUNemployment

I'm not working at the moment, so it seemed like a good time to dust off the old blog. Wait, I haven't posted since 2014? Seriously? Shit, man. Shit.

Another good reason to start blogging again is it seems like reliable sources of information are going to be hard to come by in the Trump era. CNN is fake news? Who knew? Next you'll tell me Walter Cronkite was just making it all up. Does that mean the moon landing was fake after all and Kennedy is alive? This is explains SO MUCH.

Personally, I can't wait for Friday. Trump's going to get up on the inaugural platform and say, "April Fools, everybody!" It could happen, right? It's totally going to happen. No way this is real life now.

Trump becoming our next president is like something out of an episode of Sliders. Young Jerry O'Connell and the comic relief from Indiana Jones and the cute girl with the lesbian haircut and the token black guy all go to alternate earth 1138 or whatever and it's a world where a reality TV star who's a sexual predator and declared bankruptcy 6 times just got elected to America's highest office. Except it's not really America as we know it; it's a world where Nazis are kind of a thing still because racism. (For legal purposes, they can't call them Nazis, so in the show, they're renamed the "alt-right.") And, in typical Sliders fashion, someone takes the timer away and they spend the whole episode trying to get it back before they lose their window of opportunity to slide to the next sci-fi trope.

Please, take me with you, young Jerry O'Connell.